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Free Advertising --- Reigning in your Review Rage
You're Better Than That...
Back when I was working in various realms of retail before, through, and after college, the managerial strategy to handling irate customers on-site involved recalling the ancient mantra of "The Customer Is Always Right". In modern terms, this meant that the irate, red-in-the-face man screaming at me in the big-box store lumberyard because the fourteen foot long treated 2x6 that he just purchased would not, in fact, fit in the back of his aging Toyota Corolla would be given an in-store credit for his troubles along with a hearty apology. Likely, his angry complaints would make it to paper, which would float up through the ranks and checks and balances of the big box corporate structure, and out of some printer in a distant land, a coupon would print and get slated to be mailed to his address. Because, the "Customer is Always Right".
That phrase actually originated back in the early 1900's from a man named Harry Gordon Selfridge, and had four additional, conveniently absent words on the back half of it that completely changes the context. The full phrase is "The Customer Is Always Right, In Matters of Taste". This means that if the customer insists on purchasing a product or service, it's the business's obligation to supply that, regardless of the opinion of the business.
So, in the example of the customer with the too-long-boards for his too-small-car, the customer was right. What came after requires a new phrase --- something modern and applicable.
As a carwash operator or as someone in the carwash-adjacent space, you've likely dealt with the tiny-car person countless times. Whether their startling anger originated from a billing issue, their credit card declining at the pay-station, equipment not working to the customer's expectation, or some perceived vehicular damage, it all usually ends up pointing towards one conclusion: a negative review. You can sometimes spot them happening in real-time, like in the instance of this very professional illustrated diagram below.
The difference between you, as a carwash operator, and the big-box lumberyard in my example above, is that the one star review is going to impact your business far more. You likely don't have a conveniently established corporate process in place to buy off anger, deserved or not. You probably don't have a PR person on stand-by to spin the story in your favor or a team of financial analysts working up cost projections to mitigate damage.
All you have is a glaring, one star review sitting like a piece of slowly rotting fruit in your Google reviews, souring your overall score for the whole world to see. Lame.
Reviews and YOU
A Harvard Business study was able to tie a 5-9% increase in revenue to each additional star in YELP reviews and 72% of all customers say that they consult online reviews and tie trust to a business depending on their reviews. This isn't a secret. And whether or not you choose to participate, these ratings can have an extraordinarily heavy impact on not just how your carwash is perceived, but how many customers choose to take a turn through your facility.
While handling negative press was usually reserved for large businesses and PR firms, those same PR roles are now forced onto small business owners, just for participating in the system. There are arguments that this has created a more democratically managed system to elevate businesses that are really killing it, but it also opens up the potential for abuse from customers who may not be reflecting things as truthfully as one might think.
Negative reviews are a tough pill to swallow, but especially so when they aren't necessarily deserved. However, regardless of the circumstances, your response to these negative reviews can actually work as a stellar sales tool and a way to reflect to customers that you're trustworthy, accountable, and, most importantly, level headed.
Your Response and the One Goal
Emotionally, crafting a passionate objection to a negative review, pointing out the character flaws of the person who wrote the review, and passive-aggressively dragging them through the mud might feel good, but it won't help your business. Ultimately, your one and only goal with responding to a negative review should be convincing the reviewer to change from one to five stars. It's not always, or even sometimes possible, but having that goal at the front of your mind can stop the temptation to go feral from creeping in.
Let's look at a couple of examples below.
When it's Your Fault
Regardless of how well you run your carwash, things happen. Customers might leave unhappy because of unrealistic expectations or because of an actual action that left them dissatisfied on site. Let's look at this review of an angry customer that had a legitimately bad experience at a carwash.
In a perfect world, the manager here reviewed this with their team and determined that there probably were some things that could have been done better. Here's their response:
We appreciate the feedback, A, and we're really sorry you had a bad experience at our carwash. We work hard to make sure that everyone who visits has a good experience. Our attendants use tablets to help track our membership content, which is why they were carrying them. We do offer a wash guarantee, which means that if your car comes out of our wash still dirty, we will run you through again, free of charge. Again, I'm sorry if this wasn't communicated to you properly --- we'd love to make it right though! Please give us a call at 555-5555 and we can work something out. We appreciate you stopping in!
Even though this was a failing on the part of the business, there are multiple opportunities for reinforcing that you actually have policies in place for situations like this, that you're thinking ahead of time of the customer's satisfaction. Offering a sincere apology, briefly addressing some of the specific grievances brought forth, and creating an action item that the customer can follow up on are all ways to counter a less than stellar review.
When it (probably isn't) Your Fault
Situations where you feel accountable for something that you can actually identify as "wrong" are pretty black and white. Easy. There's a problem, and you take rational action to fix it. Now, take away the rationality, sprinkle in a dusting of unbridled rage, and a dash of not having a grasp on basic English grammar, and you have a different beast altogether. The approach here is similar to the one above, but there's a few extra steps involved. You won't be converting this score to a five star, but you do have a huge opportunity here to show that you're trustworthy, level-headed, and a responsible business owner. Follow these steps:
- Walk Away From The Computer. Really: Responding at all when emotions are high is absolutely off the table. Unlike getting screamed at in person, getting screamed at online gives you the luxury of walking away, crafting a rational response over time, and talking things over with anyone around you willing to listen. Go for a walk, chop down a tree, or start training for a half marathon (as long as your doctor clears it).
- Write Your Response: You're calmer now, relaxed, well-adjusted. Ready to write. Keep your response short and concise, remove any confrontational language and instead focus on the policies and features you have in place that exist to counter the nastiness. Turn it into a free ad about how awesome you run your facility. Some common responses:
- YOUR EMPLOYEES WERE INTENTIONALLY RUDE TO ME
- Our team members meet weekly to talk about how we can go above and beyond with our customers, including providing personal service at all of our pay stations to make sure that everyone who visits gets the wash that they need.
- YOUR TOUCHLESS WASH SCRATCHED MY CAR. HARSH CHEMICALS!!!!
- We work with some great chemical distributors to use the best chemistry we can source in our touchless automatic washes! We monitor levels in our equipment room regularly to make sure that each wash is the same as the next.
- MY MEMBERSHIP RENEWED WHEN I DIDN'T WANT IT TO! I CALLED AND THEY TOLD ME I WAS ON THE HOOK FOR ANOTHER MONTH!!!!AVOID!!!!
- Our wash memberships are flexible and allow our members to wash every single day, and also includes a free dash wipe and an air freshener every visit. We try our best to make it easy to manage memberships, which are no-pressure and can be cancelled at any time by visiting our website or by calling.
- Use Modern Tools: Still feeling the burn? Maybe you're still not in the mindset to counter the insanity? There are tools for that! Have AI craft a response for you and edit it afterwards. We recommend using ChatGPT or Claude, which can craft human-sounding responses without the emotion. Make sure you edit it afterwards to avoid sounding too robotic or to include specific information for your business.
- https://openai.com/index/chatgpt/
- https://claude.ai/new
At the end of the day, just remember two things: Your goal is to represent your business online responsibly and responding angrily back to customers will never help you or your business, despite how good that dopamine hit is. You're better than that.
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